WHAT… No present for Mother’s Day? : Gender perspectives and Mommy Dates

Some women get upset because their man didn’t get them anything for Mother’s Day. The truth is….

Mother’s Day means something different for men than it does for women.

The male perspective –

For many single men, Mother’s Day means get something for Mom. It’s to say “Thank you for being my Mom.”. They are the one your man looked to for advice on girls, for putting that band-aid on that cut when he was 10 years old, and she always knew what to say to cheer him up. Mom was a societal role of traditional care-giver. Even today we are socialized as children that Mom fixes our wounds and Dad teaches us more tactile skills.

Mom taught them to feel emotion and one of the best things they ever taught your man was….how to love you in particular. Thanks Mom.

Once you get married and as a couple have children, married men know the importance of getting something for Mom on her big day. However, your young child isn’t quite old enough to have a job. Your man (Father or Father fill-in) understands this and he buys you a Mother’s Day gift. DO NOT be surprised that after your young one gets old enough and having been socialized to buy you a Mother’s Day gift, that your man stops. It is not that he is not thankful for all that you have done as a Mother, but his role has changed.

Hopefully you are lucky enough to find that one that buys you a Mother’s Day gift just because you are the mother of his children. Maybe he has gotten into the habit of just gifting your every year in appreciation. That’s good and you probably aren’t one of the many worried about differences in the gender perspective of Mother’s Day.

The single male thinks about Mother’s Day differently than the married man.

Ok, so now say you are dating a man and Mother’s day is coming. Your amount of disappointment is dependent upon your expectations. I cannot say that enough. It applies to almost every thing in life. Let me say it again….

Your amount of disappointment is dependent upon your expectations.

When he doesn’t buy you anything, he says…

But you are not my mother.

It is because of the single male perspective that he has been socialized to and Mom was his care-giver. It’s is not to buy you a present JUST BECAUSE you are a Mother. If you take care of his children that is one thing, but as a single girl with a child dating a single man, do not set your expectations too high. They just don’t and it’s not personal.

The Woman’s perspective-

I really don’t need to tell you how you feel. You are a Mother – always giving, always caring, always being proactive to your family needs, and always working hard in domestic labor without compensation. This is your day. It’s a way for them to say “Thank you” and buy you something nice. Maybe it’s flowers, a card, a new diamond necklace, or something you don’t normally buy yourself but want.

We know, you buy groceries, help work to pay the bills, clean the house, do the laundry, make the supper, do the dishes, make sure the kids look alright before you take them to school. You coordinate sports, social activities, and family outings.

You are empowered, amazing, coordinated, talented, creative, and the center of your family’s world.

A card, flowers, or night out is not too much to ask for everything you do.

Cards, flowers, candy and jewelry are nice but can become forgotten over the years because they become expected and not so monumental anymore. Sometimes simpler ideas become the ones that stay in your memory forever, touch your heart, and become the moment that truly make you understand how thankful they are for you being you. Here are some ideas you can ‘hint’ to them or try out on your own mom. The choices are endless and the effects are priceless.

Alternatives to cliche Mother’s Day gifts –

Some Misfit Living ideas to give your mother for Mother’s Day really do not include buying her roses or a card. Try having a Mommy Date with one of these ideas instead and see just how memorable and appreciative she is for your attention on her day.

• Grab a loaf of bread and take her to the park to feed the birds. You can re-live childhood memories together.
• Drive her to a summit in the woods and overlook the countryside. Thank her for bringing you into this big, beautiful world. Maybe pack a lunch and make it a picnic.
• Make breakfast and take it to her house in the morning but don’t make her do the dishes.
• Call her favorite restaurant for pick-up and take it to her house or to a park picnic table for a midday supper.
• Take her out for an activity. One of my fondest memories of Mother’s Day was my son taking me out for a night of bowling. It was the first and last time I was bowling in about 20 years. I’m a lousy bowler but we had a blast.
• Relive your sports – She used to come to your games, take a bottle of wine and sit on the bleachers at your old baseball field and catch up on life. Thank her for always coming to see you play.

These are just some ideas to get your mental gears turning and they are great ideas for sons and daughters. You are amazing and beautiful but always remember, the best gift a Mother could ever ask for is the one they already brought into the world.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Love you and see you soon.

Susan @ Misfit 🙂